Saturday, September 01, 2007

I really really wish that I could be the kind of person that can take whatever life gives them and still be strong and not have to "un-burden" them self on someone else. Not that I've ever met someone like that. I'm just saying. It would be nice. Maybe. I think if I were like that, that I would probly have major trust/confiding-in problems. And that would be bad. I dunno. Maybe I'm just trying to wrestle things out in my head right now and maybe I want to tell someone - or better yet, I want someone who will already know what I want to say/get-off-my-chest without my having to say a word. Now, this probly doesn't really make sense - but hey, that's cuz this is my little space where I can write whatever I want. haha Ok, well, I'm so thankful for my friends who listen to me and understand me. Sometimes I wish that I could just stay with them all the time and stay away from family issues etc. But I suppose if I lived with only friends, well, first of all, I wouldn't meet new people and second, I would probly develop problems with my friends. Anyways, life seems to be a vicious cycle. Not that I've just noticed that. whatever

So, I have completed my second week of school. I think that I enjoyed them. I was/am pretty proud of myself cuz I have stayed on schedule like for the whole two weeks. But, we'll see how I am doing in like 5 more weeks... Anyways, I really like my written analysis of lit. class. Although, I think I am going to get pretty frustrated with it pretty soon. You see, we have to write a paper on two or three poems and Liz (who loves writing) said that she didn't really like this paper (she's taken the same class with the same Prof. and all...) so yea. Maybe I'm just being my usual pessimist self but I can't really help that. And usually when I try to think on the bright side of things, people laugh at me so anyways, back on subject... Last class I was in small group with these two guys that were in my last ENG class and they were being annoying. But it's not like that was a new thing either. They mostly sent the whole time we were supposed to be discussing the poems, trying to convince me that I had mad the Prof from our last class cry. Whatever. Ha, it was kinda funny though cuz they said that when the first met me last year, they thought I was scary and mean and they told each other that they didn't ever want to really meet me or talk to me. I'm so pleased. Well, sort of. I think they were sorta joking. Anyways, they're dumb. Besides, I'm not that scary. Or am I? Whatever. I'll live. I don't mind being scary either. >: B So yea, my job is going well and I'm still gonna try to get a job at Sbux too... so well see how that goes. I mean, I'll see how that goes. I'm not like a 'we'. ok, then, never mind. Welpers, I have to go help my mum make salsa. I don't even really like our homemade salsa. Oh well too bad for me. ok, I'm going.

" I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them"
-from Wonderful by Everclear

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2 Comments:

At 7:12 PM, Blogger Maria JoAnn said...

My dear friend Ruthy, I wish I could be there right now to give you a hug. I probably need it more then you do though. Call me, email me, talk to me....I will listen and try to understand. At least I can make you smile, or me smile, or something. :)
I love you friend!

 
At 3:27 AM, Blogger Charity said...

I wish I was better at understanding. Like you. But that doesn't mean I'll stop trying. Ever.

Everything will be wonderful someday...

I love you.

p.s. guys are stupid. It's a fact.

 

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